I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
