I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize