Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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