The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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