Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
