I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
