I think im going to throw up on grandma
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
