Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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