....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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