i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
