well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
