Apparently you make a good broom.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He felt like a one man threesome
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize