i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
