I hate all girls vehemently.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
