So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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