her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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