How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
