Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
