I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
