if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize