Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am naked and annoyed.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize