Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
