I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
