things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
