I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
