i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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