I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
