Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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