she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
