we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
