it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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