He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize