Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
