So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
