hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
