carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
