Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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