just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
