nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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