he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
3 2 1 whiskey
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
