do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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