This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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