If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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