Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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