you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
