Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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