This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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