Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
