didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
