I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
