well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
