So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
