he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
