My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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