Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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