so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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