Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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