After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
