She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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