I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we should paint friendship bongs
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