made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
