Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
