if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
