I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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