he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
