u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
