dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
