when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize