Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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