Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
