K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
