Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
