My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you would pick up someone in the library
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
