How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
