you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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