Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
