I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you traded sex for a burrito?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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